You are here: Home / Archives for family

Cherish Your Children Each and Everyday

April 8, 2013 by Leave a Comment

As I looked through some of the photos from our recent Spring Break vacation, I began to hear the proverbial thousands upon thousands of words that came from them. This one particularly echoed the word, “Cherish.”

Each of my children are growing at lightning speed and I wish at times the hands of the clock would sometimes just sloooowwww dooowwwnnnn…I read a poem that is so fitting when I’m feeling sentimental. Yes, the house can sometimes be a mess. Yes, I want to pull my hair out at times, but I wouldn’t trade these gifts from God for anything the world has to offer!

I hope you enjoy this sweet poem as much as I did. If you have children, I’m sure you will.

children at the beach, siblings, african american siblings

Handprints on the Wall
by
Anonymous

One day as I was picking
the toys up off the floor,
I noticed a small hand print
on the wall beside the door.

I knew that it was something
that I’d seen most every day,
but this time when I saw it there
I wanted it to stay.

Then tears welled up inside my eyes,
I knew it wouldn’t last
for every mother knows
her children grow up way too fast.

Just then I put my chores aside
and held my children tight.
I sang to them sweet lullabies
and rocked into the night.

Sometimes we take for granted,
all those things that seem so small.
Like one of God’s great treasures…
A small hand print on the wall.

Filed Under: Baby, Children, Parenting, Tweens/Teens Tagged With: , , , , ,

Be Careful…Misery Loves Company!

March 12, 2013 by 2 Comments
photo credit: blackandmarriedwithkids.com

photo credit: blackandmarriedwithkids.com

Isn’t it funny that when you have something negative to say about your spouse, some people are all ears? Or, if you have complaints about your marriage, that you get all of the attention. Maybe it’s just me, but I agree with the age old cliche’ that misery loves company…but why is that? I know it’s not that we all enjoy seeing people suffer or that we get some type of fulfillment by seeing the shortcomings of people and their marriages. I think that by natural compassion, people flock to one another because they feel some type of cohesiveness or there is an innate desire to comfort those who are in need. Let’s just face it, some people are just nosy/messy!

What I have found is that when I don’t have complaints about my marriage or when I’m not rattling off my marital moans and gripes, then a lot of conversations with acquaintances are cut short. Sadly, when I’m singing the praises of my husband and thanking God for all the blessings that have been bestowed upon my marriage, then people either think that you’re bragging or that it’s just not juicy enough, so they move on. Thankfully and truthfully, there are a lot of times where actually nothing needs “fixing” and there is a space of happiness and complete euphoria. After all, isn’t that what we strive for? Isn’t that what we work so hard for – to be happily married and to have that “happily ever after”?

I was just having a conversation with two women and we all agree that you should dream and expect great things and claim victory over anything that you want to achieve! At some point, I know that I have claimed victory and happiness in my marriage and I’m currently achieving it! For that, I am so grateful. We should all say nice things to and about our spouses, sometimes even when we don’t feel like it. We should begin to speak blessing and peace within our marriage until they come into existence. Use kind and loving words to one another, even when we don’t want to. Just go ahead and claim happiness, even during the times when we are not.

Lastly, be careful who you talk to about your marriage, because everybody that claims to be your friend, is not. Some people will view your complaints about your marriage as a weakness that they could “prey on” when they smile and say that will “pray for” you. We all know there’s no such thing as a perfect marriage but we can strive for perfection, at least will be close to it. When we speak positivity into our lives, we can achieve it. When we talk to our mates about what we want in our marriage, the possibilities are endless. Notice I said, our mates. All others- OPTIONAL.

Who do you talk to about the good and bad in your marriage?

Filed Under: Love, Marriage Tagged With: , , ,

Muffins with Mom #DeliciousPairings Starbucks and Wal-Mart

January 17, 2013 by 7 Comments

If you follow me on Twitter or Instagram, you know that there are two things that I love in my hand. In the evenings, it’s VINO. In the morning, it’s my JAVA!! I am a lover of the coffee bean…so much that at one point, my kitchen decorations were centered around it. (I know I know). When I found out about the #DeliciousPairings Starbucks display in Wal-Mart stores, I was a tad bit excited….OK..I was hysterical! The masterminds at Starbucks have teamed up with The Bakery at Wal-Mart for a beautiful display pairing up their goodies with the perfect blend of coffee…GENIUS! So off to the store I went…

Walmart Delicious Pairings

When I got there, I was impressed by the lovely display of all the pastries. Bagels and Doughnuts and Muffins..Oh my! Presentation is everything! I’m loving this whole #DeliciousPairings thing. Aren’t you?

Delicious Pairings Display

;

;

We make every effort to eat our meals together as a family. This is really tough, because like any other family, our mornings are HECTIC! The easy part was knowing that I had something delicious and quick already planned for our breakfast. The hard part was deciding which one. Decisions, decisions.

We chose Wal-Mart Banana Nut Muffins. Yum!

Many Muffins at Walmart, Delicious Pairings

;

But wait! It gets better….Starbucks gives you pairing suggestions to match the coffee blend with the most complimentary pastry of your choice. Since we chose Banana Nut, it was recommended that we pair it with the House (Medium) Blend of Starbucks coffee. I’m a fan of all the Starbucks varieties, so this a great addition to my collection!

Delicious Pairings Display close up

;

What better way to make my morning crew smile at breakfast than to promise them muffins? One for Dad on his commute and the rest for me and the kids. Mommy gets her Starbucks coffee and everyone’s happy! I bring them home and can’t wait for the next morning. I couldn’t wait, so I brewed a cup when I got home. One word. Delightful.

;

The next morning, I bite into my muffin. Incredible (and moist)….I pair them together and I can truly say that they matched PERFECTLY! I cherish these sweet little moments with my kids. They grow up so fast! All smiles…PLUS no breakfast dishes to soak! Woohoo!

Delicious Pairings

;

So, after putting the kids on the bus, I get to sit back relax for a minute and look back at what once was a very delightful breakfast and decide that we’ll do it again tomorrow. :-)

Empty Plate, Delicious Pairings

I am a member of the Collective Bias® Social Fabric® Community. This shop has been compensated as part of a social shopper insights study for Collective Bias™ and Starbucks #CBias #SocialFabric”. All opinions and excitement are authentic and my very own.

Keeping It Smart & Sassy (KISS),

Filed Under: Children, Food, Lifestyle, Shopping, Tweens/Teens Tagged With: , , ,

The Jar of Awesome – Why You Need One!

December 31, 2012 by 4 Comments

It’s the New Year and I’m sure you’ve made all kinds of resolutions and set your goals for 2013. Well, I challenge to do something that you just may actually do AFTER the month of January comes to a close. I’m definitely excited about it, so here goes! Why not start a “Jar of Awesome”? I was surfing through the blogs of some fabulous blogger friends and was inspired by Uncommon Chick, who is also start her very own “Jar of Awesome”. Here’s how it works:

This January, start out with an empty jar and fill it with notes about all of the awesome things that happened to you throughout 2013. Then on New Year’s Eve next year, open it up and reflect on all of the awesome things that happened to you. This is great for singles, couples, as well as families, give it a try, we are!

New Years Resolution, jar of awesome

I thought this was a pretty neat idea and I’m so glad I found it. I’m also excited because I get to involve my entire family and help the kids understand perspective and reflection. I don’t know about you, but I know I will need about 2 or 3 of these jars, because I’m claiming 2013 to be über-awesome!  So, are you in? Drop me line to let me know if you’re up for it…And I wish you and yours a very Happy New Year!

Keeping it Smart & Sassy (KISS),

Filed Under: Children, Marriage, Parenting, Tweens/Teens Tagged With: , , , ,

An Interview with A Breast Cancer Sur-thriver

October 25, 2012 by 3 Comments

It’s still pink Breast Cancer Awareness Month!! The month of celebrating the sisterhood of thrivers and survivors everywhere!!! I had the pleasure of meeting an amazing woman, to whom I credit for this wonderful interview. She is a breast cancer survivor, but I like the name she uses….   “Sur-thriver!” I hope you enjoy reading it, as much as I enjoyed doing it!

 

Breast Cancer Survivor, Sur-thriver

The Beautiful Monica


Smart & Sassy Mom: Hi Monica! Thanks for taking the time to talk to me today. It is truly a pleasure to finally have this opportunity to learn more about you and your story. Tell us a little about yourself and how you were diagnosed. 

Monica: I am a mom of two nearly perfect children, Caleb (15) and Cydney (11).  I am 47 and married to Timothy for 20 years, love him like crazy.  Smart, Sassy, Fun-loving… a little bit bossy but that’s because I know everything!!  I’m  incredibly busy with family, work, school (part-time graduate student), community work and spiritual work. 

I discovered the lump through a self exam which is kind of ironic because before that time, I could have counted the number of self exams I had done on one hand.  I received my diagnosis on 4-29-09 and if I had a lucky number, 429 would be it,  but I don’t put my faith in luck.  When I told my family and friends I sent an email and the subject line read, God speaks in whispers and bricks (borrowed from Oprah).  The Whisper was, “do a self exam”. The brick was, “You have cancer, get ready for battle!”  April is especially important to me, because both of my children were born in that month (life-changing to be sure) and my diagnosis  (also life-changing) came in that month.

SSM: Wow, so not only do you celebrate the life of your beautiful children in April, you are also celebrating your life as well – in every sense of the word. That is truly beautiful. So, how does your life differ now than before your diagnosis? 

M: I sorta claimed my life back after the diagnosis.  When you are sitting at home recovering from your latest surgery (lumpectomy, mastectomy, reconstruction) or the last chemo treatment (4 over the course of 4 months), you have a lot of time to think about what is important to you.  I really took stock of what was happening in my life and some things I just didn’t like.  So I made some decisions about family, work, faith, education and I made some changes.  I left a job that was not great for me anymore, went back to school, started teaching sunday school and volunteering at my children’s school and in the community.  Cancer changes you…it makes some people better versions of themselves and it make others weaker versions of themselves.  I know this to be true from personal experience.  I decided I was going to be better -a “sur-thriver“!

Before my diagnosis, I was aware of breast cancer but it hadn’t really touched my life…no family history.  After diagnosis, I can’t go anywhere and not meet someone who’s life has not been touched by cancer.  My awareness is in hyperdrive!!  And my community work is in service to that… I am a member at large of the Board of Directors for the Northeastern Affiliate of Susan G. Komen for the Cure, because I have met so many people who’s lives were touched.

SSM: That is awesome, Monica! I, too, have been touched by cancer affecting my family as well as some of my closest friends. So, I can relate to what you’re saying. I’ve never met anyone that has never been affected in some way, by cancer. I just love your spirit, its infectious, which is why I’m so glad you were able to bless my readers with your story. Now, if you could think of three words that describe your journey, what would they be?
 

M: Doorway to abundant blessings!  Don’t count the preposition!!

SSM: [laughing] Don’t worry, I’m not counting the preposition – just loving the words and the strength behind them. I can only imagine that receiving such a diagnosis can turn a person’s life upside down, and as you mentioned changed your life. This is not an easy thing to fight, so tell us how and what has helped you through it all.  

M: Faith, Family, and Friends, without a doubt!   People stepped up for me in so many ways…took care of me and my family when I couldn’t.  Called me, fixed meals, shuffled kids…the list goes on and on!! 

SSM: What a blessing! It sounds like you have an awesome support system, which is really important during the fragile times in our lives. I know that you mentioned that before your diagnosis, you could count on one hand, how many self breast exams you did. You are not alone. I wish there was some way to really shake up our sisters and show them, “Hey, this is important! Early detection could mean your life…We need you!”
I know that we all feel invincible at times and I guess I’m just as guilty. I do my self exams, but I honestly don’t do them monthly, as suggested.

We’re coming to a close, so I’ll make it brief.  Are there any misconceptions or common myths you’d like to use this platform “debunk”?  

M: I don’t know about myths or misconceptions. I just want women to take care of themselves unapologetically!!

SSM: That’s sound advice, for sure! Here at Smart & Sassy Mom, my readers and supporters are some of the most incredible, dynamic and just plain ol’ awesome females that are what else but “Smart & Sassy”? Is there anything else that you can leave with them at this time?  

M: We shoulder a lot of the family stuff and we need to be on our best game to do that!!   Do regular self exams, go to the doctor when something doesn’t feel right, live a life that will make your children respect you and be proud of what you have accomplished.  Put Joy on your daily “to do” list! 

SSM: Thank you Monica for being here. You’ve made my heart smile and I’m so happy that you are here with us, sur-thriving!As a woman and a health care professional, I know how important it is for us to know your bodies, love our bodies, and take care of them. As we close out the month of October and Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I would like to charge you the readers with having a “Bosom Buddy“.  That means, call/text or IM someone on the first day of every month, at least for the next year and remind each other to do a self breast exam. Please don’t let our heightened awareness stop on October 31st! We need to be conscious 365…24…7!  

 

Keeping it Smart & Sassy (KISS),

 

Filed Under: Health, Lifestyle, People Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Counting My Blessings

September 24, 2012 by 6 Comments

keep-calm-and-count-your-blessings

So, I’m back!!!! I took a little blogging hiatus to move our family from our temporary Summer home (with my Mom in Birmingham, Alabama :-) ) to our new home in New York.  Due to the timing of it all, we already knew that we would be in a hotel for about a week, but we needed to get the kids up here for school. Then comes the monkey wrench….we’re forced to stay in the hotel for AN ADDITIONAL WEEK due to issues with the divorcing couple selling the house. All kinds of emotions ran through my brain and body. I was upset. I was hurt. I was sad. I was appalled. How could  delays with paperwork and battling attorneys disenfranchise my family like this?!?!?

Before I snapped out of my “woe is me moment”, which lasted for a few days I might add, I was feeling some kind of way because of a PLETHORA of things. During this experience, I began to share these tribulations with family and a few friends. I soon began to find and count my blessing in each instance. God is so amazing. Yes, I believe in “silver linings” but I also believe that the Almighty is always working in the favor for those who believe.

I was so upset that I was forced to use a laundromat. (I realized that my family was blessed to have all these clothes that needed washing.) I was so sad that BOTH my kids started their first day of school living in a hotel (My kids were happy and excited about their first days and even more excited about the great hotel breakfast. Kids are so resilient!) Why, oh why were forced to eat out every night at a restaurant, when we didn’t decide to make it a “cold cuts” night? (It’s a blessing to have to decide WHERE to eat, not if my family is even GOING to eat at all.) The other bonus was the kids went swimming every night and we all know what that means… Zzzzzzz…I love it!

As you can see, yes we were inconvenienced greatly for almost two weeks due to what felt like petty nonsense, but on the other side of this – there is fighting couple, going through a bitter divorce which I’m sure is hurting a lot of people involved as well. I am so unbelievably grateful for the many prayers that were sent up by beloved friends and family.

If you’re even reading this, I know that you are a supporter of this blog and the Smart & Sassy Mom brand. Thanks to all of you and I’m glad to be back. Don’t YOU forget to count your blessings. I guarantee that once you start, whatever you’re crying about will seem very small compared to what you have in your favor.

If you know you’re blessed and you want to share, we want to hear about it. Share below.

 

Keeping it Smart & Sassy,

Filed Under: Lifestyle, Motherhood, Parenting Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Marriage: ‘Til death us do part? or ‘Til I get angry?

June 7, 2012 by 8 Comments

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.                                   ~1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Vintage photo black family, 60 year anniversary

My YOUNG and sharply dressed grandparents, my mom (R) and two uncles (C) and (L) circa 1958

When the “BIG DAY” comes and you say, “I do.” You actually mean it. I know I did. But why do 49% of marriages have the misfortune of ending in divorce? Is it because its easy? Is it convenience? What is it? Oh, infidelity, lack of interest/boredom and change in physical appearance. Oh…I get it! But what about the 51%?? Do we not face the same things? We get bored. We change physically. And quite frankly, when life gets in the way, your sex life inevitably circles the drain, guess what?? YOU PICK IT BACK UP! Get back to adding the habañeros and jalapeños and spice that thing right back up again!

My husband said once, “Like there’s a circle of life, there’s the circle of love. Its perfectly normal to fall in and out of love again.” While, he’s no marriage expert, I totally agree. What makes us so different? I, for one, know that its way easier to leave when its tough, but I stay because of LOVE — genuine, true love and commitment we made to one another, in addition to the fact that I dig this guy! You build so much together and invest so much in each other, it seems simple. But, actually, it’s not. My 76 year old grandmother, who is a seasoned veteran at this whole marriage thing, told me when I got married: “Staying married will be the hardest thing you’ll ever do. Leaving will come easy, so stay and work things out!” Boy, Oh boy! is this easier said than done.

I hate to admit it, but I see so many sour, bitter Facebook and Twitter posts about the trending disbelief in the constitution of marriage or hopes of finding a good man/wife. I find it sad, because I still believe. We just have to go into it saying, “Look, I’m not easy to live with. You’re not either. Let’s do our best to make this thing work and see to it that we have fun in the process.” (or something like that)

I was reading an article, about Lloyd and Evelyn Collins who have been married 77 years. That’s incredible! Big shout to my own grandparents who will be celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary TODAY June 7, 2012 and I am so happy to have celebrated with them this past weekend!! But this couple I was reading about, is from Louisiana. They share their story (and secrets) about the longevity of their marriage. A cute little excerpt about when they met:

“In 1934, gasoline cost ten cents a gallon, Shirley Temple made her first feature film debut, and Henry Ford’s Model T car was the most popular vehicle.” 


It was also the year that the couple fell in love. Now seven decades later, they’re still living happily ever after. The story of Lloyd and Evelyn Collins looks and sounds much like that of my own grandparents. My grandfather at age 18 (3.5 years her senior), courted my grandmother, asked to marry her only months after their first date and 60 years later, they are still living together, happily ever after. My grandmother jokingly recalled when she was asked to speak at their anniversary celebration:

“He stole me…I was only 15 years old and he told the Justice of Peace that I was 18 years old…[laughing] He robbed the cradle!!! But seriously, I will do anything for him…he had surgery recently and he’s doing good and I am so glad. ‘Cause when he hurts, I hurt and when he feels good…I feel good.” (insert awwww…and swoon)

happily married, 60 years, black love

Me with my beautiful grandparents celebrating 60 years of marriage June 2012

These are the kinds of stories of real life romance and longevity that keep me hopeful. Hopeful that when the times get rough, NOBODY gets going. You work it out!! Times have changed. But real love is the same –no matter the era. I hope there are still some believers, like myself, in the “til death do us part of the vow”…I’m inspired. Are you?

Click here to read the entire story of Lloyd and Evelyn Collins.

Keeping it Smart & Sassy,

 

Filed Under: Love, Marriage Tagged With: , , , , ,