“(Love is finding pleasure in seeing, touching, feeling through all the senses, being as close as possible to a lovable object that loves us.)”

My sweetie and I  |  photo credit: @smartnsassymom

My arrival back to home was with mixed emotions. I was sooo excited to hug, kiss, and smell my babies, it is impossible to describe! Yet, I must say, I was truly getting used to the Parisian way of life. It was a delightful and necessary vacation for my honey and myself. Before I proceed, I cannot stress how absolutely necessary it is to “stay connected” to your spouse. Its an extremely important component of maintaining a healthy, happy marriage. If I can offer nothing else, I will say it again and again, stay connected. Remember what it was like before kids, before career changes, before the inevitable nuances of maintaining a family came along and all of the monotony and under-appreciation of your spouse that sometimes comes along with it. Marriage is work, rewarding, yet work. But if you want to keep fanning those flames, get busy on carving out your “re-connection” time. There’s no better time than the present!!

I’m no expert on marriage, but to understand my appreciation and commitment to the institution of marriage, you have to know a little about my background: I was single parent to my son for five years. I met and started dating my husband when my son was 1 1/2 years old.  Our modern, but blended family has come with its challenges, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. The uniqueness and fast-paced life of our family has changed so much over the years. Its gone from just the two of us to now, five! It was a different kind of “tough” then when it was just us two. Now, its still tough even with more help.  I’m all about the team approach. Working together, and parenting with purpose.  I’ve watched a lot of growth take place. The size of my family, the love that my husband and I share for each other and even the size of son’s feet! My son, as awesome and intelligent as he may be, was diagnosed with ADHD in kindergarten*, that alone posed challenges in my life as a parent. Not to mention my life as a newlywed.  In addition to the fact that my husband’s career requires lots of travel, I’ve got two little princesses who need me. Oh! Did I mention that my relatives are 889 miles away?

I say all that to say that my life, like that of many other moms, is hectic. We all want to be the greatest wives, the most attentive and loving moms, the best cooks, and the sweetest, most polite guests at those miniature tea tables during [dress-up] tea time. But, before all of it, notice I didn’t say AFTER, or “at the end of the day”–you have to make sure that you and your spouse both feel connected. If you don’t feel it, you can make your marriage vulnerable. We owe it to ourselves to make time — to talk about reasonable ways to regain and recapture what brought you together in the first place.

This, my friends, equates to the necessity for our romantic getaway to Belgium and Paris. I’m not saying it has to be trip around the world. Just something that makes you feel like there is no one else in the world, at that moment in time, but you two. That taking a moment from the iPad, iPhone, laptop, etc. is worth the time you both share with each other.

Another thing I’m a total advocate for is DATE NIGHT! Lucky for us, we came into our marriage knowing and agreeing that this was important — and it still is. Again, nothing big, just alone, adult time that you can share with one another, uninterrupted (if you can help it). Sometimes, we don’t even leave the house, we have a movie and dinner after the kids are put to bed. Its just that simple. I feel so blessed to have had the opportunity to spend such uninterrupted time, in such a romantic place, with my sweetie. Its not cliche’. Paris IS for lovers…We made such beautiful memories.  I had forgotten how much I love his laugh! We held hands. We fed each other and just loved each other! It was great.

Rainbow in Paris | photo credit: @smartnsassymom

If you’re in a rut, and even better, if you’re not…tell your spouse how much you love them today and that you want some time, together. I’m sure if you tell them how important it is to you, it will happen.

Keeping It Smart & Sassy (KISS),
Smart & Sassy Mom

*I will express my concerns about ADHD in an upcoming blog, both clinically and personally.