25 Ways to Show Your Husband You Love Him


I’m always researching ways to enhance and enjoy my marriage. To some, this may not be a big deal, but for busy moms like myself, there are times that we barely have enough time for ourselves – let alone a moment or two to be a fulfilling and INTENTIONAL wife. Disclaimer: I make no claims to be a relationship expert. This is a list that was created to inspire you, not cause guilt, or by any means be overwhelming. Have fun with it and to be good at these, repeat them often and smile!

1. Cuddle. This could be a mini-spooning session before you drift off to sleep at night or just an “on the couch” moment after you’ve put the kids to bed.
2. Give him eye contact. Don’t they say the view to a person’s soul is through their eyes. Well look at your husband, not in his general direction, when he’s talking to you. It makes him feel that he has 100% of your attention.
3. Keep yourself up. No excuses for being frumpy! I know its hard to even shower some days, but at least try to throw on some makeup and get your hair done. Feeling good about yourself will make you a better wife!
4. Flip the switch to off! So often, we unintentionally speak to our husbands in a tone that is meant for our children. Please remember to get it together and check your tone before you speak to your husband.
5. Tell him! Simply, tell your husband that you love him in the most sincere and kind way you possibly can.
6. Love yourself. I’m a firm believer that a Happy Wife = Happy Home. Love yourself first so that you have the freedom to love your husband. If we have too much baggage and insecurities, how can we love our husbands?
7. Do what makes him happy. If he has a favorite meal, cook it. If he has a favorite dress he likes you to wear, wear it. Ask him or refresh your memory about what puts a smile on his face.
8. Pillow fight! If you’ve never tried this, then please do! It release endorphins (the natural chemical that makes us happy) into our bodies. You’ll be laughing and breathing so hard, you won’t have a chance to take life so seriously.
9. Give him his space. If your husband is like mine, he enjoys his man-cave. At times, stop the kids from disturbing him and allow him to dwell in this sanctuary to just “be”. At times, be a sweetie and take him a meal or two and his favorite cold beverage.
10. Pray together at night. Quite honestly, this is a hard one for us, because my hubby keeps late hours working and I’m in “La La Land” when he’s turning in for the night. If it’s an easy one for you to do, then do it. Speak the coverage of Jesus over the head of your household.
11. Don’t nag! OK, since when does this one come easy? If you can ask nicely and remind him with kindness that’s a start, but try not to overwhelm with/about any one subject.
12. Be aware of his exits and entrances to your home. Never let him leave without a proper goodbye hug or a kiss. And certainly greet him after a long day’s work with the same and a smile. (Also see #3 for good measure)
13. Say good things about him. Isn’t it nice to overhear people saying good things about you? Let him hear you saying kind words about him to his family, your kids or your family and friends.
14. Be the fire starter. Every now and then, THEY would like to be pursued, enticed, seduced and feel WANTED.
15. Compliment him. If you like the way he just got his hair cut, please tell him. If he smells good,  tell him. You get the picture.
13. Smack him on the butt! If this isn’t the norm for you, I’m sure this will cause a stir, a laugh, a conversation or something. Just call it a “love tap”.
14. Buy him a little something, just because. It doesn’t have to break the bank. Any surprise gift would be appreciated. No ulterior motives allowed, like a snow blower or tools. :-)
15. Give a massage. Enough said.
16. Slip him a little note inside his briefcase or lunch bag. Just say, “I’m thinking of you right now…” or “Can’t wait til you get home.” or more serious, “Thanks for being a good provider. Enjoy your day at work.”
17. Say yes to “Guys night out”! Just like you enjoy time with your girls, let him go out with guys. He needs the break, especially if it’s with other husbands.
18. Be subtly and blatantly submissive. Ask him for his advice and follow it through. Next time there’s a decision to be made. Tell him you wanted to “run it past him” first.
19. Smile, flirt and show a little leg. Enough said.
20. Write a “foggy mirror” message. When he’s in the shower in the morning, write him a love message on the mirror, so he’ll see it when he steps out. Isn’t that a nice way to start the day?
21. Nurse him. Don’t wait until he’s sick to look out for his health. When he does get sick, make sure you attend to his needs.
22. Kiss him. Not just little smooch – a long, passionate kiss should say, “I love you” and if you want it to say, “I want you.”
23. Start a ritual or a tradition together.
24. Be kind and show love to his mother. If your mother-in-law is no longer with you, then do this for the special elder in his life.
25. Keep your commitment and your vows. It takes a lot to fan the flames after the newlywed/honeymoon phase has been long gone. Your husband will see and appreciate your efforts and hard work that it takes to be a fulfilling, loving, beautiful and intentional wife and mother!
Keeping it Smart & Sassy (KISS),



  1. Once again, an article full of good ideas. We old wives tell tales that new wives should listen to so they can become old wives. It is wonderful that you are doing your part to keep your marriage spicy and to help other people learn little things to keep love strong, spicy and good!

  2. These are all such great ideas! What I like about them most is that they are easy to implement. I’m not married, yet, but I will pull a few of these out for my boyfriend. When we get married, I’ll pull out the rest! :-)

  3. Great article but may I add another point….LISTEN! In 14 years of marriage I’ve learned that sometimes that’s all I need to do. Listen to issues at work, things going on with his family, or just the daily grind of bring a black male in corporate America. Sometimes deep conversation come about but only if he’s ready, willing, and receptive to my opinions at that time. He’s expressed to me several times that’s one of many things he loves about me.

  4. Excellent advice and great suggestions. And just confirms that men just need to be appreicated, respected and feel wanted. And I love how you say to take care of “you” as well.

    • Smart & Sassy Mom says:

      Hey Val! Thanks for the comment. Of course, we have to make ourselves a priority. Happy mom=Happy house!

  5. I love this list!! All of these ways are awesome–there are some that I definitely need to get into gear with my Hubby! :) ~Thanks so much for sharing!

  6. I love the submissive one. So true!! I love letting my husband know that I honor him as the head of our household. Great list!

    • Smart & Sassy Mom says:

      Thanks Mimi. Yes, truthfully, that is where I struggle. I have gotten better and its becoming natural. Thanks for stopping by and commenting!

  7. Great resource and tips! I love 13 and 24– get on his mama’s good side and you will win them both over. :)

  8. Great suggestions! I will have to start using these on my boyfriend, maybe I’ll get my ring faster lol

    • Smart & Sassy Mom says:

      Thanks DjRelAt7! You just might get it faster if you’re doing the right thing. LOL! Good luck and thanks for commenting.

  9. This post is such a good read for couples out there! It’s so easy to forget how to have fun when going through the the daily work-week routine. Me and my honey have date night once a week. I love your # 19…I forget that flirting was something we once did way back when. LOl!

    • Smart & Sassy Mom says:

      Thanks Sherelle!! Yep. Please do #19. It makes me LOL because we’re so silly. Thanks for the comment!

  10. Wow! You claim you are not a relationship expert, but I promise, you hit 25 nails on the head! thank you, I so needed this list. Sometimes my fiancee would ask for certain things of me and I would think that he was being unappreciative of what I do,or I would think he was being greedy. But you confirmed that men really do treasure this type of attention,. I’m printing it out now! Thanks again!

    • Smart & Sassy Mom says:

      Shannon, I am not. But you have me blushing…I just pass along nuggets that I gather along the way. Yes (whispering) men still crave attention….don’t tell them I said it. :-) Take care!

  11. I love it, even though I’m not marry, I was just telling a friend of mine how to spice up her marriage. Matter of fact I sent her this article to her.

  12. Husband here…What do you if your doing 24 of the 25 of these and much more and I am getting 2 of the 25 back? I do all of the cooking, every day, shopping, cleaning of the house, paying all the bills, I work full time as an executive. My wife goes to school and has lots of friends she spends time with. But the imbalance, though I have talked about it with her stays and stays….Feel wildly unappreciated. it seems the more I do the more it’s expected and no big deal…

    • Smart & Sassy Mom says:

      You sound like a hero and person is distress. I’m so sorry to hear that. Hang in there and know that you will be rewarded! Thanks for stopping by!

  13. I asked my husband to move out twice. The first time was about 5 months. This time I was hit with a reality check, I miss him… I’m realizing that I’m empty without him. I never thought of his feelings and emotions. Now he say he needs his space. He’s not ready to come back. I feel like a piece of me has died. What do I do?!

    • Smart & Sassy Mom says:

      That’s got to be hard. I have no idea what you should do, because I don’t know your situation. However, I always tell people to consider counseling first. Best wishes to you!

  14. N Fletcher says:

    I know this is a fairly old post; however, I found it looking for ideas on how to become “The fire starter” as you put it. My husband and I have a pretty good sex life. I have gotten much better about initiating, but I am timid about it and it is so frustrating to my husband. He doesn’t think I “want” him as bad or as much as he wants me nor will I ever. He doesn’t think I ever think “I can’t wait for him to get home bc I want her so badly”. He is very much mistaken, I do “want” him, but he thinks most of the time I just do it bc I think he needs it to be happy. Just like any married couple we have tough patches and amazing times as well. We have been in a truly amazing place lately, until this morning when I timidly tried to initiate and it really frustrated him. It caused him to once again have to bring this up and created an awkward tension throughout the day. My problem is that I don’t know where to go from here. I want to be the fire starter more often, but I want him to know it is sincere a d not just bc he had to say something. Does this make sense? I apologize for providing too much information, but I was hoping for some suggestions. Thank you very much.

  15. Great ideas, but when will they ever try this hard to please and inspire us? In my experience, the answer is once in a lifetime. It’s sad–so many of us women try to send lots of love our men’s way, but it hardly ever occurs to them to nurture us. How much happier would our marriages be if all the affection wasn’t just one-way? To those ladies whose husbands do show their wives that they treasure them–enjoy it. You are very lucky.

    • Armando says:

      Indeed treasure them….I have been married once and am married again. Both times each women from different cultural backgrounds grew to take what I considered extraordinary things for granted…as the norm and wanted more…..I cook every night, Mexican, Creole, French, Italian, every night. I clean the house, and I handle bills and difficult stuff. All of it…Both wives eventually assumed ALL men do that…..really they both have or now tell me this…that this is the norm. Plus I am generous, romantic and pampering. I am a well paid executive, 6’2″, latin and decent looking I am told. So it’s not like I am compensating for being a troll.
      After all these years I am just amazed how two very different women have the same reaction.

  16. Powerful and I pass a great deal of this info on to the couples I counsel during marriage and premarriage counseling. Thanks for sharing and may God bless you beyond measure in Jesus name amen.

  17. this is a nice one. to God alone be the glory and honour. Amen says:

    This is gr8! Nice one.

  18. happinessiskey says:

    My husband is very hard worker and I stay home with the kids and have a part time job outside of the home and I feel like I’m not appreciated because he comes home lays down after kids are in bed and says oh I’m tired when I ask for sex. I feel like sex deprived and emotional deprived I can’t talk to him about things because he just doesn’t care anymore. This month is a horrible month for me to go thru my mother died March 13, 2009 and her day is march 15 it just hurts that when I try and tell him things he just says I don’t wanna hear it nothing about her I don’t wanna hear it. Like he is cold hearted but if its a complete stranger he wants to help them and if it is his family he is all for it but mine is a no automatically. Help!?!

    • Smart & Sassy Mom says:

      While I can’t offer any help or advice. It sounds like a professional is needed. For hub and his lost, as well as maybe a couples’ session to openly discuss this with a 3rd party. Hang in there!

  19. I really like your list :) I’m always looking for unique ways to show my love.

    My husband works away from home more than 1/2 the year in week long stretches. I try to sneak something into his suitcase before he leaves each time. Sometimes it’s just a piece of paper in his work pants pocket saying “I love you!” Or thanking him for everything he does or appreciating one of his many stirling qualities. Sometimes I sneak a favourite treat in or a little gift.

    And when he is home, I never turn down sex and try to initiate it often. I always keep in mind that this could be the last time. Because some day there *will* be a last time. Last time to hold him, kiss him, cook for him, go for coffee with him, shop with him, work with him, watch him, laugh with him and say good bye to him. So I try to make every moment count. You never know when one of you is going to be gone forever. So ask yourself, are you satisfied with your “last”?

    • Smart & Sassy Mom says:

      You are such a wonderful wife!!! You actually gave me a few things to think about. It’s all about a positive attitude and a sincere love for your husband. Your perspective rocks! Thanks for sharing.

      • Samantha Davis says:

        I love your article. My husband and I have been through soooo much. I still love him and I know he loves me but I want him to see that I care enough to do special things to show him. Thanks so much for taking your time to help goods wifes that wanna become the best :)

  20. Lil Shanny says:

    If you do all of this nice stuff your man will think he has you whipped and he will be out banging his side chick and you will look like a fool!

    There is no reason to be nice to a man once you are married. It will make him lazy and it will make him cheat on you.

    You have to make your man scared of you! If he don’t think you is going to call the police on him and tell them he beats you, then he will act however he wants and will hang out with all of his little friends and bang his side chick instead of working and bringing home money for you!

Ok...talk to me!